MetalBlog by Steff Chirazi

\m/ Take it like a band!…men, women & children also heavily invited \m/

METAL BLOG, Vol. 2 - by Steff Chirazi

What’s got eight legs, eight arms and four hearts that project as a dozen? That’s right, GIRLSCHOOL, and anyone who was ignorant or stupid enough to think that these ladies had taken up a lighter path of musical resistance can now beat themselves repeatedly in shame and prepare to pony up the cash to buy a slice of their deliciously filthy, cheeky, chunky, sweaty and addictive rifferama via new forthcoming album Guilty As Sin. Now I dunno how it was here, but when I was a pup in single digits fighting acne and mullets, we would brandish the tennis racket for all riffing duties, and let me tell you, Guilty As Sin will wear out TWO rackets at least, and if you’re ill-prepared, speakers will be blown. I’m not joking, you can smell this album, and that’s a damn fine thing…

It’s been a good while since I’ve been able to sit here and waffle on about the GREAT state of metal. Take the new Motörhead LP Bad Magic, their finest album in a decade which showcases how Lemmy, Phil and Mikkey continue to be a touchstone for rock, punk and metal fans globally, it’s top ten smash-hit status worldwide screaming the fact. Then look over to the right and reinvest in the new High On Fire album Luminiferous, play “Carcoza” and tell me your entire soul doesn’t lurch forth in a furious frenzy of headbanging to their mighty sub-Sabbath with a hair-more-speed glory? And if THAT isn’t enough, Slayer have honoured the post-Hanneman era with a disgracefully disturbed new album titled Repentless, and if aural lacerations such as “Atrocity Vendor” (with some spleen-twisting discordant harmony-riffing) and the thickened lead battering of “You Against You” are anything to go by, I believe they absolutely ARE repentless when it comes to this wonderfully violent album…

I came across a fun piece just minutes ago, a band called Christian Mistress releasing To Your Death which is steeped soaked and saturated in the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (NWOBHM) to such a degree that I can see my old pals Geoff Barton and Xavier Russell furiously headbanging between pints of lager and the next Praying Mantis gig at the Borderline in London. It won’t be for everyone, but nostalgists will enjoy it’s unabashed homage to an era. And then there’s Jeff Waters’ Annihilator with their titanic new thrash opus Suicide Society, a metal technician’s wet-dream between the crisp, skin-tight production and the near-surgical riffs.

Sometimes it’s nice to be reminded of old classics, so here’s an order that anyone who ever enjoyed cloudy haze of thoughtful smoke in their lungs, a huge bag of Cheetos, beer and swirling subby-sub-sub-Sabbath should immediately procure a copy of Sleep’s Holy Mountain by Sleep (High on Fire Matt Pike’s first band), and if you consider yourself someone who enjoys old-school Ministry-esque crunching indistrial-style aggression with some clever melodics, your mandatory purchase is TV Sky by The Young Gods, an extraordinary group who never got their deserved recognition…

…ALL of which reminds me, did you have the utter misfortune to see Keith Richards make those tragic comments about how he thought Metallica and Black Sabbath were ‘great jokes’? Ahhh Keef Keef KEEEEF!!! Puh-leaze TELL me you were having a bit of mischief. Or a laugh. Or that you were trolling people. Or that it was a one-off senior moment? Because otherwise, let’s just say that the biggest joke might thus be on you. History and pedigree never buys anyone the right to be ignorant.

Until next time, Steffan – UDR Columnist

Photo by Pep Bonet.

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